Journey to my BFP through Faith

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen"

Last day of “stay-cation”…and IVF TWW

I have been on “vacation” since July 23.  Aside from the egg retrieval pain and unsmooth transfer, I’ve had a great time being unplugged from work, getting lots of love & pampering, food, and sleep (+ more Olympic watching then I have ever had in my life! Love it!).  TriMan has been doing a lot of cooking and I could definitely get used to this.  He’s making gluten free blueberry pancakes, eggs, and chicken maple sausage now… He took some time off to take care of me. I love him so!

After 3 days of not going upstairs I finally did last night to sleep in our master bedroom.  I read somewhere online that after the IVF transfer to not use the stairs.  Good thing when we bought the house we made sure to have a bedroom and bathroom downstairs…advice from my mom and aunt so that when I am super preggo I can have a bed to sleep in downstairs!  It was our first time sleeping in a different room, but the queen size bed fit us perfectly with our dog.  The room is definitely cooler than ours, which TriMan enjoyed.

I have been waking up quite a bit throughout the night to pee.  I have been drinking as much fluid as I can for the embryos development! Today if all is going well they should be attached to the lining.

We are going to watch TiVo olympics from last night and then go watch Batman at the theaters!  I really hope keeping busy will keep my mind off of the wait. Beta testing is on 8/7.  I plan on testing earlier…

Stay tuned…

Love,

Faith

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Prayer for all the IVF ladies

I found this site with a wonderful IVF prayer that I would like to share:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Fertility—Infertility—IVF/A-prayer-I-wrote-during-my-IVF-process/show/598195

 

 

 

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Post-transfer

Yesterday was the transfer. The whole process was horrible!!!  They told us out of the 12 good fertilized eggs the embryologist only liked 1 of them. WTF! He said there were 3 others that he thought were “intermediate”.  The others were slow growing. I was very disappointed in our doctor. She did not give us the data we wanted to make a proper decision about which to transfer. We studied up on the grading scale, but was not given the grades.  She said they used a different scale and all they could tell us was fair, good, etc.  She also wanted  us to wait and freeze the good embryo for next month when my hormones are better but there is no guarentee the embrys would make it through thawing.  She eventually let us talked to the embryologist.  He gave  us more informative data and they do use the grading scale we read about!  (we are not happy with our doctor’s knowledge…)  Anyways we selected the best one and the fourth.  They will monitor the rest for the next few days and see if they can freeze any.

The Transfer took forever. I didn’t get a mock transfer even though I asked. They said they do that during retrieval.  Maybe my uterus was not cooperating yesterday. We watched the embryos being deposited on the ultrasound. I was asked to hold still for 30seconds or so.  They removed the cathader  while the embryologist has been patiently waiting the whole time and took it to the lab.  He gave the ok and they rushed me off the table for the next “client”.  The waiting room was full of couples dressed in gowns and all ready for their transfer…..ugh I felt like I was in a meat factory or something…(for lack of a better term).  Luckily I had a scheduled acupuncturist come so I walked over to the next building and laid there for 25mins or so….

I have been pampered since I got home with love, food, and attention from my hubby and mom.  Everything has been good and I feel very blessed.

I just can’t get over the experience I had which was totally unexpected for this transfer.

Faith.

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Day before Embryo Transfer!

This time tomorrow I will be laying on my sofa and being a “princess”, “couch potato”, “the boss”, whatever you want to call it.  I got the call from the outpatient service today prepping me for tomorrow’s transfer of the embryos.  They informed me that after the transfer I will not be allowed to shower for 48 hours! I did not know that!!! Other orders, no house chores, don’t do anything that takes longer than 5 minutes, no standing, don’t go to work for two days (unless working from home).  Another tip I’ve found on some fertility website is no climbing the stairways for 3 days!!!  It makes sense if you are not supposed to do anything for 48 hours! So, I washed the sheets for the bedroom downstairs and am bringing the stuff I need downstairs.

Tomorrow is TriMan’s and I’s 5th year wedding anniversary.  The transfer itself is a blessing and is a great way to celebrate our anniversary.  Other than that we are not doing anything fancy. My Mom is taking the day off to tend to my needs (I love her so much!) and so did TriMan (I love him too so much!).  My sister will be stopping by after work.  We will be having a special dinner.  Of course we will all be having the anniversary meal eating and sitting on the couch most likely watching “The Proposal”, “Letters to Juliet”, “Ratatouille”, “27 Dresses”, “Big Bang Theory Series”, etc….That is my line up for tomorrow! 🙂  I just got back from the store with organic steaks for tomorrow.  We will also be having organic baked potatoes, and chicken/vegetable soup to warm my tummy!!!  I’ve also baked a cake today!  It is a layered gluten-free yellow cake (I added some cinnamon and nutmeg to the batter).  I’ve also made a homemade apple filling for it.  I will be decorating this later tonight!  Can’t wait to eat it tomorrow!  TriMan will only eat sweets on special occasions now, so he’s in for a treat!!!

More Progesterone Injection meds got delivered today.  We originally bought the meds from a local specialty pharmacy, but this time we went through our insurance.  I want to share how HAPPY I am that they gave me 25mm gauge needles!!!!!!!!!!! The one TriMan have been using on me is 22mm! 😦  The higher the number, the smaller the needle!  YAY!  I can’t believe the local store said no, they can’t give me a smaller needle because the oil can’t go through!

My Mom will be learning how to give me the injection tomorrow.  TriMan has an upcoming Triathlon event and will be out of town for two days.  And I can’t shoot myself in the butt, nor will I anywhere.  So it’s a good thing she will have a smaller needle to work with!!!  She will just watch tomorrow night and on Saturday she will get to do the injection!!!  Did I tell you guys the massage table has been great to use for shots face down? (lol)

Oh, another thing…I talked to the RE Office today asking them for the status of the embryos.  They said they don’t know, it’s in the incubator and they won’t check until tomorrow.  They said pulling them out to check may harm them so they don’t want to do that.  And something about a higher rate of miscarriage if they did….interesting.  Too bad they don’t have the Embryoscope Incubators that I read about online where they can check the embryos without disturbing…

Okay, so those are my “random” entries for today!  I am going to try to relax tonight.  I have my acupuncture appointment before we meet with the doctor to select the embryos.

Thank you for following my journey!

Love,

Faith

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Egg Retrieval and Cyst

I had my ER yesterday morning.  The doctor retrieved 19 eggs!!! I had only one ovary producing follicles so we were shocked and happy! While she was in there she drained the endometriosis cyst! It was about 3cm and it came out jelly like (gross). There is a high chance it would fill up again, but so glad that stuff is out!  It has been in there for over a year!

I could barely walk yesterday. I tried really hard not to take the pain meds they gave, but I gave in and took half.  My Mom and TriMan took the day off to take care of me. Hubby ended up carrying me up the stairs even though I insisted to sleep on the sofa.  I am doing a lot better today and am just taking Tylenol.

We got our embryo report this afternoon.  Of the 19 eggs retrieved, 16 of them are matured. They did ICSI on the 16 and 12 of those fertilized.  The lab says these good embryos were “2-cells”. The other 4 did nothing.  So then they took the 3 immature ones and did insemination on those. 2 of those 3 fertilized and became “1-cell” embryos, which they are monitoring and calling abnormal for now.  Hopefully those 2 will grow and be normal!  So we have 14 fertilized embryos total! Wow!

I was told today that on average 25%-50% of the embryos will make it to transfer! My RE coordinator says their office does better than average.  I researched this and some offices says 1/3.  A lady posted that 70% of her embryos made it to transfer and they froze  the rest.  So this is a case by case situation depending on the quality of the embryos.

They will not be providing a day by day status report.  No news is good news they said.  Transfer is this Friday on TriMan and I’s 5th year wedding anniversary!!! We will meet with the doctor and select which embryos to transfer that morning.  I called to let the acupuncturist know the time of ET.  She will do a before and after session at the RE office.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, love, and support!

Xoxo,

Faith

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No eating or drinking…

Ok, so it’s almost 12am.  I am not allowed to eat or drink after this time.  I am sitting here with a glass of water trying to chug it down and then head to sleep.  I just finished eating a slice of GF PB and Organic Strawberry Jelly and fresh slices of strawberries.  I am afraid I will be so hungry tomorrow morning while waiting for the retrieval.  I’ve also just finished up some tasks for work and am so relieved that I will be off of work until August 1st!  I will be dialing into work a few times, but it’s so nice to not have to worry about work too much during this part of the IVF cycle.  It’s been hard explaining to my co-workers why I am taking a “stay-cation”.  Honestly, I have been just telling them I am doing “Family Stuff” in town, but then they want details! lol… :-X

 

My sister and I went to our decorating class today, came back ‘n ate lunch with TriMan, and she & I crashed on the sofa for over 3 hours! I have been very nauseous today more than ever and got a major headache when I woke up from the nap.  The thought of eating meat makes me want to throw up.  Seriously, I wonder how I am going to be when I am pregnant!  I asked the RE Office and they said it is because of the increased estrogen level and that I need to drink more water to make the icky feeling go away.  (My E2 level was 3,357 on Saturday before Trigger!)  Also, I am peeing every 20 minutes now!  It’s driving me nuts.  Makes me concern I might get OHSS!

 

I just set my phone alarm for 6:45am tomorrow. All I have to do tomorrow morning is shower with no soap, put on some clothes, and head out the door with ID only.  No personal belongings, No jewelry, No makeup, no perfume, no lotion…etc.  (I removed all my nail polish before I showered today!)  I even warned my Mom and TriMan to not have any scent!  The doctor gave us a list of things not to do to avoid potentially contaminating the eggs!

 

I hope I get some sleep tonight.  It’s 12am now and I took my last gulp of water.

 

Prayers are needed and appreciated for TriMan and I as we take this next big step in the IVF process.

Thanks all!

Love,

Faith

 

 

 

 

 

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It’s time…

Ok, I am getting the trigger shot in 10 minutes – 9pm AZ Time.  Egg Retrieval is at 9am on Monday morning… TriMan just pulled the Ovidrel out of the fridge.  I’ve been taking this process day by day.  But honestly right now I am just concerned with the eggs releasing before they are supposed to!  I’ve been searching online all day about this, but I still am not satisfied or rest assured for some reason.  I think I may go pee on a stick now to make sure there is no LH Surge.  I feel like I should just trust the doctors, but for some reason I always feel like I need to leave one eye open…if you know what I mean…

Btw – My stomach is pretty tender and bloated! :-O

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Scared… Sometimes life is so surreal

Life is so precious.  Sometimes we get so busy in our daily lives and busy thinking of the things that we want and we forget what we truly need. We need to step back to understand what does all this mean…

I received an email from my childhood friend today, who happens to work at the same company I work at.  His 2 year old son was recently diagnosed with leukemia.  I wanted to write him an email back, but I wasn’t sure what to say.  [He and his wife began trying to have a baby around the same time TriMan and I were AND his wife is expecting their 2nd child (a girl) in a month…]  I sit on the 3rd floor of the building and he sits on the 1st.  I decided to just go to his desk and give him a hug. 😦  I feel so bad and I can’t believe this is happening to him….  Throughout the day I would think of him and his son and I just still can’t believe that they have to face this.  It doesn’t feel real.  His son is expected to go through 3 1/2 years of chemo-therapy.  😦

Having a baby comes with a lot of responsibility…more than I know…which scares me.   Being a parent, you are responsible for the safety and well-being of your child!  I am told your main job is to keep them alive for through their early-childhood.  Have all you wanna-be moms thought this through?!? I don’t know if I truly have thought of the extent of this…because the more and more I think about this I get scared.  Now, I am not questioning whether or not I want to have kids… I am the type of person that worries a lot.  I get stressed out a lot.  Having kids is life-changing.  You think after all this time of trying to conceive I have had time to think about all this….Honestly, I have just been dreaming about have a family, not all the stressful stuff!  But as I get closer and closer to egg retrieval I am getting nervous.  Are we ready?  (Let’s do this!)

Today is Cycle day 8.  My left ovary feels very tender.  It is getting harder to sit straight.  The U/S today showed I have follicles ranging from 11mm to 15mm.  Lots of EWCM today!  The doctor has reduced the dose of Gonal-F to 150 IU from 225 IU and increased the Menopur from 37.5 ml to 150 ml!!!!  It is time to mature the eggs!  I was asking the nurse how much Gonal-F I should order earlier today and she said maybe just one pen because I may be triggering Friday or Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all know how fast time flies!   WOW!

 

Have a good night everyone!

xoxo,

Faith

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What day am I on? <<>>

Work has been pretty crazy so I haven’t had time to post anything.  Seriously, I don’t even know what day I am on.  TriMan has been in charge of the medication injections and he holds the calendar!  (I just checked and it says today is cycle day 6!)

I am now up to 3 shots per day (Lupron, Gonal-F, Menopur); not including the E2 blood draw.

I had my first U/S of the IVF Stim yesterday at 8:30am.  All the follicles were under 10mm.  The NP and TriMan counted at least 10-12 follicles on my left ovary.  Right ovary was quiet. Hopefully it will wake up!  I got the call at 12:15pm saying that the doctor reviewed the U/S and E2 levels and said to continue with the same dosage.  Lupron 10 Units, Gonal-F 225 IU, 37.5 Menopur IU.

I need to order more Gonal-F…not sure how that is going to work since I need to be at work and they require a FedEx Signature!  :::sigh:::  I start my “stay-cation” 7/21/2012!!!  I won’t return to work until 8/1/2012!!!  (Except possibly 7/25 to host  a meeting).

I am going to go get ready for the cake decorating class now…And then my sister is going to go with me to the mall to help me find more business suits and shoes!!! I have two photo shoots this week.  One is an “executive” headshot. And two is a group shot for the leadership program.  I got a hair cut yesterday and they cut off 7 inches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really want my hair long, but I needed a hair cut that looks like I mean business! LOL Don’t worry it is still about armpit length!  She cut it shorter than I wanted, but it is cute.

 

Have a great day all!

xoxo,

Faith

 

 

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OVERDOSE!

I had to rush home today from work to get my Lupron + 1st Gonal-F shot so that I could make it to my SEWING 101 course (One of my goals is to learn how to use a sewing machine before I am 30!)  at 6pm!  TriMan and I have been texting each other all day about the plans and he texted me to confirm the dosage and meds so that he could have it all setup by the time I got home.

Well….I got home and rushed to get the shots.  The lupron hurt a little, but the Gonal-F wasn’t bad at all!  I laid there for a bit rubbing the injection areas while TriMan explained his technique with the Gonal-F.  I then asked TriMan how much Lupron he injected….he said 20 Units! Oh NOOOOOO! He was supposed to reduce it to 10 Units! So I started freaking out because I am not sure how the Lupron would affect the Gonal-F.  (I cried on the phone with the Fertility Pharmacy this morning because they were charging my insurance almost 2x the regular cost (TriMan called it “Stealing!”), but to tie it into why I was crying…I am afraid I would need more Gonal-F!)  I am going to have to call the RE tomorrow….hopefully it is okay, but this was a lesson learned!

I haven’t been posting my 3 things. 😦 Work has been so hectic and then the internet has been in/out at our house.  The cable company finally came today, which is why I am able to post!

My 3 things for 7/10/2012:

1) Internet worked this morning.  I was able to work from home so that I can make it to TriMan’s SA appt! (TMI!!! lol)

2) Enjoyed my sewing class!  I learned how to use a sewing machine!  Checked this off my “29 goals before I am 30” list!!!!   They took us on a tour of the store and showed us how to read patterns. I saw some cute baby clothing & accessories patterns!  I wanted to buy one, but was able to restrain myself!

3) My sister stop by after my sewing class and brought me samples of Gluten Free French Macarons (a gift she got from our cousin who lives San Francisco)  and Organic Cherry Juice (micronutrients)!

 

Hope everyone had a great day!

xoxo,

~Faith

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