Journey to my BFP through Faith

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen"


Sorry to all my blogger friends.  I plan on being MIA as I soak in the next steps…

Surgery is scheduled for the 12th of November.

G-CSF shots 30mcg every other day starting cycle day 1 with cycle day 20 being FET (ah…this is still in clinical trial or something… I can’t find clear cut research or results on this…)

Lovenox shots right after FET  (Due to low Protein C I need to take this anyways throughout the whole pregnancy)

PIO up from 50mg to 100mg (Being placed on a Low Estrogen – High Progesterone protocol)

Prednisone before and after FET……I.will.conquer.this…  my new family doctor’s first comments to me when I told her I am going through IVF was “Power of Prayer”.




P.S. Thank you Truffles for nominating me for the award.  I plan on writing a post as soon as I can get my thoughts together.  xoxo


Transfer of Care

As you know I was in ER on Monday and pregnancy test was negative.  I called the RE and the nurse insisted I come the next day for my beta.  I explained to the nurse what I went through in ER and she said she would let my IVF coordinator and doctor know.  On Tuesday the IVF coordinator called and “acted” really sad for me that it was negative.  I told her I already knew and I told the nurse yesterday…she was surprised…. :: Sigh:: I was not happy the news did not get communicated to her when I was told they would let her know.  Maybe because I am an engineer or something, but my attitude is if it doesn’t work, move on! I don’t want a doctor/anyone to give me sympathy.  I want answers and solutions to move forward.  So I was also really agitated and when I told her I needed to see the RE asap and she tried to schedule me for sometime in November.  I needed antibiotics, but ER wouldn’t write the prescription because they were afraid that it would interfere with my IVF process.  She apologized and said there were no openings sooner.  So I thought it was the perfect opportunity to ask for a transfer of care to a different RE within the practice.  We were able to meet with him on Thursday.  (Btw, I went to a family doctor Wednesday.  They prescribed motion sickness meds for inner ear unbalances and amoxicillion for my possible sinus infection.)

Thursday morning we met with the other RE…they called it the “Second Opinion” Appt.  He immediately suggested a different approach to the IVF process and suggested I get a hysteroscopy, where they put me under and put a scope in me and carve 4 lines in my uterine lining to improve chances of implantation…. He also gave me a different med to treat my high prolactin that has no yucky side effects like bromocriptine!  He wants me to go on lovenex before/after transfer and take very small dose of prednisone post transfer until beta….  TriMan told him that we had a good embryo going into FET #1, but he believes the RE that did the transfer failed and took an hour long.  The New RE was surprised and said maybe it was because my bladder wasn’t full enough…. Thank goodness I brought my U/S photos.  I showed him and his eyes got huge when he saw how big my bladder was!!!!!!  He also immediately wrote down that he needs to use a 45 degree instrument to do the transfer because he could see the shape of my uterus.  He said he always has backup equipment for these situation……(why didn’t the other RE used that!?)  We completed our ‘consultation’ and said we will call his nurse/IVF Coordinator (different lady) if we decide to go with him.  Well, it didn’t take us long…we waited in the waiting area for a nurse to print my new prescription and both decided to go with this RE and let them know.  They said ok and just to call back when I started my period.  Well, I got home …I got my period!!!!!!!!!  Thank goodness I am like a clock! I get my period 3 days after I stop PIO shots and 1.5 days to get my period when I am on progesterone cream only and stop.  So that evening I got a call from my *new* IVF Coordinator/Nurse and we scheduled my transfer for December.  She had to call my insurance to confirm they will pay for the hysteroscopy before she could set the date.  She called me yesterday and said the first opening is Nov 5th! OMG that date is just around the corner!  I haven’t committed to a date yet, but wow… things are moving fast.  I hope I am making the right decisions.  Hysteroscopy is done when there has been multiple failed IVFs, but there is always a risk with surgery.  I am going to pray about it before I make a decision.




I got up this morning and felt dizzy. I wrote my boss an email that I wold be in late so that I could try and feel better. A couple hours went by and I still felt bad.  I went downstairs to email my boss again and struggled to stay balanced and broke into sweat. Hubby had a crisis at work and I couldn’t get a hold of him.  So I called my mom and she rushed to take me to urgent care but suggested I went to ER.  I also tried calling the RE office but they had me leave a message with the nurse. ER let me in immediately….I had to pee in a cup, got 3 vials of blood drawn, a brain CT scan and 2 bags of IV. Dr. Says the scan looks good, but the pregnancy blood test is negative.  He thinks I have inner ear probs and diagnosed me with vertigo.  He didnt want to give me meds that would interfere with IVF….and so I need to coordinate with RE.

I got home and called the RE. They still want me to come in for beta testing to confirm my numbers…. Ugh another poke for no reason.  The nurse claims she had a patient go to ER for blood test and they said she was not pregnant, but turned out pregnant….

I don’t want to have false hope, but I will continue to go through this process…


9dp4dt…bfn…FET failed..

I woke up Thursday at 4am to pee and my head spun like Crazy. I was so dizzy.  I tried not to get my hopes up, but I have been feeling dizzy for everyday since.  I gave in and tested because due to the low protein c in my blood I would need to start lovenox immediately if BFP…well BFN.  I have been “strong” lately, except today I was told our friend was 5 months pregnant…and saw lots of fb status this weekend about babies being born, baby room setup, baby going for a walk, baby going to the zoo, etc!  I broke down and cried while hubby tried to give me the PIO.  My butt is bruised so badly from all the shots…. My beta test is Tuesday, but since we know it is 99% negative I just want to stop all this torture… The PIO is causing the dizziness…

Sadly, I feel no hope today…I just don’t understand.


FET Photos

Here is the picture of our embryo before the transfer and the Ultrasound photo of the transfer.

As you can see the U/S looks very hazy.  The spot is not bright white like how it’s “supposed to be”…  [Yes, my bladder was going to EXPLODE…I was debating peeing on the table!!! I would if I could.  During the procedure I asked where the closest bathroom was.]

I have been trying to do things around the house, but TriMan just wants me to rest to give our embryo the best chance… I keep telling him that I don’t want “false-hope” and disappointments.  I feel at peace and just trusting God.  I read in a Christian book today to stop focusing on the negatives and be thankful about all the positive things that God has blessed us with.  I am thankful that I know we can create embryos.  We will one day have our own children, but I am leaving it in God’s hands….Trusting him and being thankful for what I have.



RE shook her head post FET…

Our embryo thawed well, but the transfer didn’t… It took almost an hour and the RE was not satisfied. I had to pee so bad I didn’t even look at the ultrasound screen.  I left as fast as I could to go pee when we were done. She came back with our u/s photo and shook her head.  She did not get a clear photo of the embryo deposit.  It is a little hazy.

I told her I don’t believe this worked… She said “I know…”.


Valium and Ativan….pls work

Tomorrow is my FET….and I am freaking out. Mostly because I am taking the day off and have so much work to do.  I have been praying to God that if this doesn’t work that I will not be upset and rejoice in his love and blessings. It’s hard. I cried a couple of times today while driving…not good.  I told myself that I would relax today and not stress, but every little thing has been getting to me.  So finally I popped 2mg of Valium at 8pm.  Nothing….still panicky… So I popped another 2mg at 9pm.  I am not loopy or tired, but finally feel “normal”, not panicky.

Tomorrow I get to take Ativan an hour before the procedure… My pharmacist said that 0.5mg is such a low dose! Should I have gotten more???  There will be no acupuncture this time, so I need something!

Btw, I got my P4 checked today. 49.7!!! RE office called and said that was excellent.  I have a “knotty” butt right now…I found it yesterday. Hubby made a mistake with the PIO shot… No idea… I didn’t have this problem last cycle!

Ok I am done rambling now…  I just need to focus on God…”walk by faith”…and trust Him.  We know it’s easier said than done for those still struggling with “infertility”…



My Lining & Pantry/Storage

After an hour and 15 minute wait at the RE office on Saturday, I finally got my Ultrasound.  My lining was 7.25mm yesterday.  She said it was good and a couple of hours later I got the call that it would be my last night on lupron and start PIO injections on Sunday.  Also, I needed to take Vitamin E (400mg)  twice a day so that any mucus caused by the increased estrogen level (mine was at 1522 last week!!!) will be dried up by Friday and the doctor wouldn’t have to worry about during the transfer.  Anyways, tonight I get to start P4 cream, PIO, in addition to estrogen pills and estrogen cream… I also bought a pre-cut pineapple yesterday and they left the whole core in there.  I cut a piece of the core this morning to see what it would be like…chewy and fibrous!!!  I have a whole organic pineapple ripening on the counter in preparation for Friday.  I guess I am supposed to cut the core in five pieces and eat one a day starting on FET.


So we decided to hold off on the flooring in the “pantry/kitchen” storage room.  The guy that came to do the estimate said $1,700… seriously for a 100 sq ft room?!  I can afford it, but I feel I can do other stuff with the $$$$! So no.  If TriMan did it himself then it would only cost about $1k, but he doesn’t feel comfortable installing it since if we do it wrong we would lose the warranty.  The chrome shelving racks were delivered Thursday night.  So TriMan  installed them all yesterday and I’ve been cleaning out our kitchen and stacking them on the racks.  Below are some photos of what I have so far.  I may decide and rearrange things later and there are still a lot of stuff that needs to be organized and stored in here.  I can’t believe how much stuff there was in the kitchen cabinets!!! I love organizing my stuff like this!!! Now I know what I have and may actually use them!


I hope everyone is having a great weekend!



Protein C Deficiency…

I went to the RE office (close to my house) this morning before work and was told to wait while they transfer the results from the main office where the RE usually is (1 hour away).  I sat there for about 15 minutes and heard the phone ring.  The nurse on the other end told her that they can’t give me the results because the doctor didn’t actually speak to me….  I was told she would call me soon, so I left for work.
She finally called at 11am.  She said everything looked beautiful except the Protein C was low.  She said it was 74 and normally it should be 89 to 146.  She also said that if they tested me next week it may be normal, but they are not going to take their chances.  Once the beta test confirms that I am pregnant I need to go on Lovenox injection (belly) every day during the pregnancy!  Low Protein C can lead to blood clots in the placenta or cord cutting oxygen supply to the baby.  (The MTHFR test results have not come in, but they said they are not concerned about that.)

So we pushed the doctor for all these tests even though they are typically ordered only for those who have recurrent miscarriages.  I am thankful that I got them done so that we can have the preventative care during pregnancy.



Results are in…ahh what is it!?

As you know I went to get the Immune-Panel and Thrombotic Blood Panel tests done a couple Fridays ago…
Well, the results came in today.  The *actual* doctor called me and I missed the call. 😦  My RE never calls me!!!!  I had my phone on vibrate still from work.  She called at 6:20pm.  I sat down to dinner and hear my phone vibrating in my purse.  I looked and it said I just got a voicemail!  Anyways, she started out saying everything looks normal and she doesn’t want me to worry, BUT………there is one thing that is a little off and she wants me to come in and discuss with her.  She said she didn’t want to go into detail, but said that they wouldn’t give me medicine until I am actually pregnant.  So the beta test will determine the path forward.


Ah – what could it be!?!?!??  I plan on driving straight to the RE office and be there at 7am when they open tomorrow to get a copy of my blood results and also schedule my appointment with her.




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