Journey to my BFP through Faith

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen"

A year ago today…

A year ago today, TriMan and I went in for IVF transfer #3.  We decided to empty the freezer and transfer our last two embies.  We had the first appointment of the day….our appointment was at 11am…we waited for the doctor to arrive..this time I don’t believe we took selfies to capture the day.  The last couple of times we did and i just didn’t want to get ‘excited’ for something that may not happen.  The doctor arrived, we went into the room, the embryologist verified our identities with the embies, the doctor did a mock transfer…and BAM he deposited them into my uterus in a matter of minutes…what?!? We are done? Last time it took an hour… unbelievable…so I didn’t need surgery to open my cervix… (the previous doctor said i needed it before ivf transfer #3) We received a copy of the embies first photos and were on our way.

Throughout the TWW, I didn’t restrict myself much.  I sat on the sofa post transfer, but didn’t lay down.  I just relaxed, ate lots of chicken noodle soup and drank hot cocoa….  I was content and tried not to think about the fact that we had the transfer.  I never once peed on a stick.  I recall feeling my heart beat really fast before bed once or twice, but didn’t think much of it.  I felt really tired Christmas Eve while cooking for my husband’s great grandma, but again just grabbed a stool and sat in front of the stove making her favorite dish pasta shrimp Alfredo.  When it was time for dinner, I ate so much…  Again I didn’t think much of it, my only concern was I hope his granny didn’t think I was a cow for gobbling up seconds on the pasta and garlic bread! (I still wanted more, but had to control myself!)

Christmas day was when I was due for a pregnancy blood test, but the facility was not opened so I had to wait for the next day.  I thought about peeing on a stick, but nah…in my heart I was set on faith that whatever happens is in God’s plan and I was prepped mentally for another failure…

On testing day I went and got my blood test in the morning and visited my Mom afterwards.  I was scared…I have held up so strong the last two weeks, but now it got real….and I cried.  My Mom comforted me by reminding me that everything that happens is in God’s plan.  It helped me pull through.  This whole IVF process has taken a toll on me mentally and physically.  The only reason I have been surviving is through God’s love and comfort.

1pm rolled around and TriMan and I were just sitting on the couch watching tv and waiting… The phone rang.  I went to get my phone in the kitchen.  Hmm caller id was private.  Typically it would show the facility’s number.  I answered and it was an IVF staff member…i quickly went to sit next to TriMan so we could both hear the results together…

“The test was positive, you are pregnant” she said….my response… “Are you serious?”

Fast forward a year later…I am sitting here typing and watching our TWINS sleep!  It is still surreal…

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